Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
2 comments:
LOL! Cute joke, Mike.
On a somewhat related note, have you heard anything about the felony charges that were filed in Delaware against Art Gallagher? It's been well over a year since he was arrested. Have you heard anything?
I ask for a reason? I just visited Art's blog site (www.moremonmouthmusings.net). I saw that Art was criticizing some former football player with a criminal record. I wrote the following in response to what Art wrote:
"I don’t have a problem writing about someone’s arrests, convictions, bankruptcies, etc. These events are all a matter of public record and they all speak to one’s character. What surprises me is that Art Gallagher, of all people, is writing about someone else being arrested for crimes that didn’t end in a conviction. Mister Kettle meet Mister Pot.
Good luck, Art, dealing with the felony charges that have filed against you in Delaware. Be sure and let us know how those criminal matters are resolved."
Not surprisingly, Art Gallagher, in true cowardly fashion, promptly deleted what I wrote.
I don't know about you, Mike, but I'd sure like to see The Asbury Park Press write another story updating its readers on the status of Art's criminal case. Any thoughts?
Joe,
Funny you should ask. I've been thinking about Art's situation for a few days and found the email address for Sergeant Paul Shavack of Delaware State Police. I've been meaning to follow to see what the situation is.
I'll let you know if I hear anything.
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