Friday Funnies : When In Rome

I received this via email and thought I would pass it along, enjoy.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: 

" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" 
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" 

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste." 

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." 
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome . 

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.. 

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" 

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." 

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. 

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.." 

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?" 

He said: "Who screwed up your hair?"

Friday Funnies:Haunting New Video Of Exorcism Depicted

Take your mind off the hurricane for a short while and watch this haunting new depiction of an exorcism that has just made its way to the web.

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

Friday Funnies: E-Trade Baby Loses Everything

With all of the volatility surrounding the stock market this week, fortunes have been lost and regained in record time. It's enough to make even the E-Trade baby a little sick.

Friday Funnies: Goodbye Mom

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk..

"How come so much? I only bought 5 items."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
you'd be paying for her things, too."

Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.
Don't trust Little Old Ladies!!!

Friday Funnies: The Daytona Fish Gun with Matt Dillon

From FunnyorDie.com

When your fishing poles just aren't cutting it, maybe it's time to step up and use what the REAL fishing pro's use. Go out and get yourself a Fish Gun from "Daytona" Dan Jackson (Matt Dillon) today, so you can kill fish with bullets like you're supposed to

Fish Gun with Matt Dillon from Matt Dillon

I wonder if you need a license for that thing?

Friday Funnies: Jimmy Kimmel's "The President's Speech"

If you've seen the Oscar winning best film "The King's Speech" you won't want to miss this, Jimmy Kimmel had a hilarious send up of the movie back in February just before the Academy Awards.